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";s:4:"text";s:28134:"If she calls out sick, she can just insist Im sick; cant come in regardless of what the boss says. Id like to nominate this man for worst boss of the year for this sentence ALONE. Well. Call in sick and dont ever apologize for it. My high school got around a mandatory monthly fire drill by claiming it was too cold, and just ringing the alarm for a few months until enough parents complained that the rule was recinded. It ruined my entire week-end. Get the paperwork in place for legal accommodations. If you know WHO is conducting the training maybe they could give info about what is happening that day. In the end, escape room idea was scratched and we did a scavenger hunt instead. A total of 27.2% of working people volunteered, compared to just 21.4% of unemployed people. Im sorry you have to deal with this. This includes a family event, religious obligations, volunteer work, having a side hustle, or simply needing to rest. It is usually best to work these issues out with the chain of command or have someone do it for you. As another university admin assistant (also for a dean) who has just spent the last couple of weeks dealing with a real recent active shooting event on a campus: what?!??!! Yeah, our local transit agency shuts down a station occasionally (usually several hours on a Sunday morning) so all the emergency service people can run a training exercise. Why is it gaining popularity amount employees and it is not exactly a bad thing? He likely is superficially affable, but what you have related is not at all the speech of a nice person. As Alison suggested in bullet point #2, if there is a second-in-command at your job, even if you dont directly report to that person, consider talking to them. I had a young kid when Sandy Hook happened, as many of us old folks did, but even those who are childless should at least be able to imagine the trauma these drills can cause. Which brings me to active-shooter training. They are not going to find out; unless they know your father very well. Just flat out no. I feel you, OP. We have to let the videos play and take multiple quizzes to get a certificate, but Ive now done them enough that I can let the video play while not really paying attention, and my anxiety has disappeared over the trainings. Ours was a few days long, they played a sound over the PA every [whatever number of minutes it is that someone dies from drunk driving], and they staged the crash on the football field and made us all go look. We were there for hours, literally, while they searched for the possible gunman, then after they caught him, clearing the university to be sure he didnt have an accomplice. Learn more about me here. But some gossip can cause harm to your team and the organization. Tell them how you were all dressed up for this party, and you are afraid that the mechanic workshop m, Even if it isnt, its going to take a while. Career success is just inches from your hands. You should absolutely opt out if you want to. There is no value in a seven hour training for something that would last from 5-30 minutes, realistically. It traumatized her. by This took an hour, and I work in law enforcement! I really hope this changes some day in the US. Regardless of that, though, opting out should be a reasonable accommodation for anyone with cause to believe the training will have mental health ramifications for them. OP Thank you for writing in. So why not plan this up again someday?. Yeah, the duck and cover drills for nuclear war were equally not reassuring when I was a child, Im not clear on how those were helpful. is not a good option even if traveling means going across two blocks. Sometimes I go through that employee if I really want to raise an issue, but I cant always count on their support. I would argue that children shouldnt be doing these drills, either, and everyones time would be better spent working on reducing shootings overall. Im now almost 36 and Ive never held a gun, and aside from police (who have it bolstered), Ive never seen a gun in real life. 100% agree with Alisons statement that active-shooter drills are counterproductive. Im so sorry. But what on earth could take 7 hours for active shooter training alone that would actually be useful? I know many of them are probably fine, but many are also horror themed. Its the worst. Between the GUN SHOTS outside the classroom, and the unbelievably unqualified instructor who gleefully talked about all the times his hyper-vigilance protected his girlfriend on the mean streets of our farm state, it was too much. They are known to induce anxiety in participants, and theres no evidence that they really help much if you find yourself in an actual active shooter situation. I do think that similar to an ask for PTO that saying its an appointment that cant be moved might still get pushback or be viewed as disingenuously. Now, were reminded at church that in the event of an active shooter, there are three options, in order of preference: 1) RUN! Works a treat every. When I was 12 I pretended to be a dead body for a drill run by the local police. We were located in an area where street violence was a significant risk. Dear god. Another pro-tip for basic make up: if you want to pick out a lipstick/tinted lip balm that will look good on you, apply the sample to the tip of your middle finger then pinch your finger just above the first knuckle. I told them the way you prevent that is to click their heels together and wish real hard. Our society (U.S.) has gone around the bend and its valuable for reasoned voices to call it out. They dont have any problem with reading anything, its the simulations. When I was in high school my best friend died in a car crash. Add to the fact that you shouldn't be U'ed if the SM provided a valid excuse. My middle-schooler was completely ho-hum while describing how their orchestra room is actually the best place to hide because it doesnt have any windows (to deaden sound.). This is especially true if you have school-aged children. A headache isntsevere enough to render you useless for a long period of time but its bad enough that itll get you out of a social engagement. Ive asked for a more specific agenda but Im not sure I will get one. I have never ever called in sick for any reason other than actually being too sick to leave my bed. They dont call us a generation of flakesfor nothing. If you have an awkward situation that youd like example templates for, request a topic here. As a teacher I participated in lockdown drills and in ALICE training, which is the run-hide-fight style that I guess is more popular now, rather than the hide-and-lock-the-door style we used to do. But since I am pretty much exhausted, I dont need anything more than my bed and a days sleep. And if it is, there is a huge possibility that the other people wont show up either. That made a huge difference in everyones mindset regarding the training. Thats just totally unreasonable. You need to see that your fear is that a single instance will make you one of the people he isnt nice to, and that is terrifying. We hope that these excuses will help you get some much needed you time. And if you are not looking up for one, have a detailed conversation with him,and I bet you will scare him off. Each year the US Bureau of Labor Statistics releases its data on volunteering in the United States. There you go. This isnt going to be the first time someone tries to tell him that people have traumas and mental health needs. What do you do for seven hours? For example: "Due to some past history that I don't want to go into at work, I am going to opt of out Tuesday's training.". (Like Alisons proposed it wont be possible.). As someone who has been in an active shooter situation all the training you do doesnt mean anything when the threat is real and all that training is going to do is disrupt the workday and traumatize employees. Im so sorry. Honestly, the boss Im going to take her word for it that hes a nice guy, but hes clearly demonstrated that as far as hes concerned, failing to participate is just going to be a sign that shes everything he probably secretly believes about women and Gen Z. The whole experience just changed the entire trajectory of their career and also the field of emergency preparedness. You have a side hustle 6. I am stuck on *seven hours. No one will ask an explanation for this one as we all know how severe it hits. Jeez, people go to work to *work*, not to LARP or to do choreographed dance routines. But youve already established your workplace isnt likely to be reasonable. Could we catch up at a less hectic week? They were told that had this been a real event, they would be dead. You are needed for babysitting 9. This particular teacher was really big on collective responsibility for classroom behavior and (even though Id been pointedly holding my finger to my lips at people when I wasnt huddled in a very small and silent ball) I just remember feeling so guilty. Exactly. BUPERS Instruction 1001.39F. That sounds much more similar to fire drills and tornado drills which can still be scary for kids (I was definitely the kid crying while hunched like a turtle in the hallway of my elementary school a few times) but are generally not long-term traumatic. After last years training, TPTB had to send out an email noting that something the trainer suggested was against the systems safety standards, so theres that. You want to spend the time with your family and friends, It has a positive impact on your physical and mental health, You have the opportunity to develop networking opportunities, Yor provide a service or goods to the community. 2. To assist you in this challenging situation, weve written 25 fantastic excuses to get you out of an unavoidable social gathering that you dont want to attend. When I was at job from hell, looking at a full day meeting from hell that would solve nothing and put me in a similar place to the OP, I seriously considered getting takeout with my allergen in in, dramatically puking in a trashcan, and leaving for the evening/next day. Hes a cruel person, who happens to be nice to you. About HQHIREAffiliate DisclosureTerms & ConditionPrivacy PolicyContact usSitemap, Education ArticlesGetting A JobCareer SuccessEducationCareer ListCareer Tools, Career ChatroomAsk QuestionsRegister or LoginRecover Password, Copyright 2023 HQ HIRE All Rights Reserved. BS on that one! Id call in sick the day before as well better cover story. For this office, I would avoid a mental health day and really focus on something physical. Asking not to be contrary but because Im genuinely curious what you mean by this comment. Next time you see them, just say it was a false alarm and it got better all of a sudden. Now that my eldest is in school, I am grateful every day that I married a British man and moved to his hometown. I would not call it a mental health day and I would consider missing a couple of days so it does not outright look like I skipped the particular day. Sometimes the messages are after the fact, to let us know that the school was on lockdown, but everything is ok now. There are a few reasons why your absences might not be able to be excused. Woke up this morning for drill and my car would not start. At their large school, the directive is that 3rd+ need to get off campus and run out to the neighborhood by any means possible. This is almost enough to make me start using makeup on a regular basis! Not the building burning down. He has to fly armed. It was a full hands on every emergency agency in our city was involved. My problem is my unit has decided that not enough people will show up so they moved Sept's drill to Aug 5-6 and made it mandatory. I have two high schoolers, my spouse is a professor, and I work at a university too. If youre outside the immediate blast radius, being killed by a falling ceiling tile is preventable that way. Weve had some real fires, but unless the sprinkler system fails, the building will just flood instead of burning down. With Katrina, it was a mix of local ordinances & state laws which essentially banned communications on specific frequencies. Its probably the post practical workplace safety training Ive had since the generic mass produced run-hide-fight videos are worthless in a real situation. In some cases, you may be able to do individual training on your own time instead of attending the full weekend drill. The builder is intuitive. Same with mine; customized by law enforcement but the only customization was Oh yeah all your doors are glass so hiding isnt an option! They ended up with injuries when one of the factory guys had a turn at being shooter and took out some aggression on management. With my tire being flat I've got no way of getting there unfortunately! My employer has Active Shooter Training videos, but the intro states that if the viewer doesnt want to watch for any reason, you dont have to and heres a transcript. Also, skip the hair routine, finger brush it out. Ive never had (or heard of before now) building-specific active shooter training which is really sad because that would be so useful! Please keep me in mind for the next book club party!" The Fine Print: When you say that you miss your partner, the hostess could reply with a suggestion to bring them along. The employer would be viewing and treating it like drills for other types of emergency. She cant even bear to see guns on tv. It really shook me up in ways I didnt expect. Many of us tried and we were told we would be written up if we did not attend. If you have a family or work obligations that conflict with your drill weekend, there are a few ways that you can get out of it. Not sure if this is the case for the OP, but when my previous employer planned a mandatory active shooter drill, they sent a liability release/waiver that we were expected to sign. As someone old enough that I had to worry about this in high school and now I have to see my kid doing active shooter drills, I absolutely think people who did not grow up in a similar situation do not understand how very different it is having lived with it much of our lives. The drill was short, and we knew it was coming. Agree. Oh my! Fast forward to this current moment in your life, (whereveryou may be) and youve found that youve hit a certain point where things have taken a massive swing. Since OPs boss says the training is mandatory, any pre-submitted PTO requests would probably be denied. You dont need her permission to Nope out of the next one. That is egregious and worth taking seriously imo. My organization has gone through several stages. If you are a National Guard member, there are certain circumstances where you can be excused from drill. Im surprised at the number of commenters who seem to reject calibrating reptilian-brain thinking. The great thing about the working late excuse is that all the blame fallson your unassumingmanager. I hope it goes well, and click send. At one point as a kid, my state or school district mandated *monthly* emergency drills in schools. Learn more about NTRW here. To effectively use these excuses, avoid any unnecessary long details, and stick to your story. No amount of training can mitigate the danger of letting anyone have a gun. The statement Repeated [high-quality] training hones reflex actions is true. Wanted to add that I agree the real problem is in the proliferation of guns and the lawlessness favored bycertain politicians. The peak factor was approaching 4.5 or I couldnt find a single driver in my area will work. 3. Im so sorry youre in this position, OP. Practicing locking doors/closing windows, leaving the building like in a fire drill, knowing how your employer sends out emergency info and the basics of what to do are perfectly sufficient and are applicable in many situations. Literally had preschool orientation for the older one the month after to the day. My kid survived by diving under their desk and huddling there, shaking, as the shooter stalked the room looking for more targets, listening to the screams of their colleagues who had been shot, and expecting to die in the crossfire once law enforcement arrived. 4. I would discount everything that he said about you and take away what he said about himself, namely that he would sacrifice your life for his. Turned out that was the best way to surround himself with friends to help remind him he was safe. You should be wearing whatever you would normally be wearing at work, which just further underlines to me the uselessness of the training other than to provoke anxiety and fear. A colleague is American and was home over the Christmas holidays. I have to do the Run, Hide, Fight video at work. In some cases, your civilian employer may not be able to release you for drill weekends or summer training due to business needs . If all else fails, you may be able to trade your drill weekend with another member of your unit. When you break this figure down further, this includes 58% of people who work more than one job and 31% who are single jobholders. Agreed those, and other things like kids figuring out to hand out scissors, bother me too. You're going to an important family event, 9. See if you can ask around about who started this training idea. Did no one think any of this through? That said, there is a little bit of the risk involved because either y, ou will end up making them feel bad or you. In a real event, it takes a long time for law enforcement to secure each room. They say that the time for RST has passed. I could have written this post myself. Unexcused absence from an annual training or from nine or more training units in a one year period often results in a discharge from the reserve component for failing to meet the training requirements. My apartment building fails fire drills because we have false alarms EVERY GOSHDARN WEEK. College is a priority. Do they work in a higher-risk area or industry? Please believe him. My unit was pretty strict though, so who knows. So,I am going out on dinner with him. I know you dont want to do that, being the only woman and all, but I find that sometimes I spend too much effort holding myself together, and an honest reaction sometimes solves the issue. It could be anxiety/PTSD or something else, regardless it puts them in a place to have the sick note for work if theres any pushback. I escaped HS 2 years before columbine was 8.5 mo preggo during SandyHook. We should be ashamed that we are teaching children to be prepared for violence, and to be prepared to commit violence from the time they are toddlers on. The whole realistic reenactment thing makes people in charge feel like theyre doing more than they are. Endless sympathy to you, OP. Agreed. Many many pointed questions would be asked, if they are going to make me go through that kinda nonsense Im going to insist that they are asked as many uncomfortable preparedness questions as possible. are being killed. And seven hours long? All we can do is raise awareness, look out for safety hazards, and hold fire drills and practice our escape routes once in a while. If you graduated high school in the last 15 years, youve done active shooter drills. You can ask to be excused from drilling at that point. Most mass shootings happen at schools or venues where there are a lot of people because the shooter wants notoriety. If you have a medical condition that prevents you from participating in drill, you may be able to get a medical exemption. For some unknown reason, my school decided to get all the terrible feelings trainings done at once, so wed be subjected to trainings on school shootings, teenage suicide, and abuse and neglect issues all in a row. I was forced to go through an active-shooter training despite protests, and when a group of us were able to push back as a group, I used the word consent a lot. single. I cried, honestly, because even though it was very low key and not big budget, it was very effective at showing what its like, to have a normal work and school day completely turn on its head. Would a forklift operator be able to opt out of forklift classes on the same grounds? I don't know how it was in the reserves, but in the Nasty Guard you had to make up the time and have a damn good exscuse. **Several other events over a long time including the loss of a police officer in the line of duty at a traffic stop at the organization, a murder at the organization, a supervisor I knew dealing with a suicidal worker (despite all of his training, I had to order him to inform the police) and many false alarms. It turned out nobody really cared that I wasnt able to make it to the training and nobody mentioned it ever again so hopefully your absence will be a non-issue. So it just doesnt arise as a thought in the way that, say, the possibility of sexual harassment or sexual violence is always part of my situational awareness. Exactly. For example, an evacuation drill might reveal that the intended exit route is actually inaccessible because its blocked by blackberry thicket (true story), or a fire drill could show you that the fire alarm isnt audible in one part of the building (also true story). My kiddos are teenagers now, and several times a year we get a school communication (simultaneous call, text, email) that there has been a threat to their school. And boy, was it poorly handled. related excuse is only going to work if its not a work gathering. This is awful, and overboard, and I want to have some firm words with your boss. The vultures swoop in when a shooting takes place, pretending to offer support as they build their trauma resumes and then move on to profit from death, offering lockdown training and recovery services. (ex. I planned out my escape routes the first time I walked into the office and figured out which things on my desk would make the best projectiles by week one. Take more than a day offI suggest you take the following day off, too. Yes, maybe some people had left for work already. Either, they will be worried, or angry, or blatantly say 'no' to your suggestions of going away. We havent been told what it will entail, but its seven hours long and weve been instructed to wear comfortable clothing. My 18 year old brother called me in a panic because his girlfriend was in one of the buildings they thought the shooter was in, and Im pretty sure the panic in his voice is going to stay with me for the rest of my life. They're royalty-free and ready to use. I used to live in a country that had earthquake drills. They were upfront about wanting to meet everyones needs, and they made it very easy to select different options, such as being provided material to review on their own time or in private, write-ups vs videos, or just the option to opt out completely. I work in a school and I think our staff training maxed out at like an hour, and half of that was about identifying and preventing threats. This sometimes makes it extremely hard to complete college assignments by their due date. Perhaps it is the most powerful excuse and totally legit, but just imagine how lame you sound when your . Part of our run-hide-fight training is a very well-done, professionally-shot video set on our hospital campus. Thankfully my boss was fantastic and made sure I didnt have to attend an actual training. And so on. Oh my god. It should be the same level of training they get for things like earthquakes, fires, or hazardous weather: how to recognize a situation that requires action, where you go to evacuate/shelter and what to do if a problem arises, how/who do you notify. Ive never been through any kind of shooter drill. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 34% of people work on the weekend. We managed to cover fire, health emergencies, active shooters, bomb threats, weather evacuations, you name it, all in the span of a couple hours. Shorter, optional training for those who have not had experience could be useful for those who might need to think through where they would go and how to react. Look, Im a school employee, a military brat, and an LEO wife. Oh Heck no, no, no. Anything for a buck is pretty disgusting sometimes. There have been several studies that have shown that the methods used in many trainings end up causing PTSD and trauma. If you're looking to develop your communication skills for professional environments even further, we think youll like the following video course from LinkedIn Learning. Also for people who have been IN mass shootings or have experienced gun violence, these trainings can be very psychologically damaging. We did an active shooter drill at my organization and I thought it would be similar to the same drills I grew up doing (also a millennial) but it was so much worse than I imagined. The prurient excitement exhibited by those conducting the trainingsand folks like OPs bossis a sickness in our society. When we had to do one I brought that up that statistically if theres a shooting theres a strong chance it will be by an employee or student and they just handwaved it off. If theres a way you can make a suggestion for future years, our district moved to virtual trainings that we now have the ability to complete over the summer on our own time. then you can divert questions with details also to the oh no, im afraid its a private matter, they asked me to not divulge all the details, hey mom, would you like to have an emergency where you slip and fall and twist your ankle next tuesday. 2) HIDE! Her students are fifth graders, so ages 10-11. My youngest told me as an incoming kindergartner that she shouldnt but the cool light up shoes for school. I mean, it had a helicopter so that the cops could bill the school board or the city for helicopter deployment. It still felt stupid, though. Could you tell your boss that you already have expert-level knowledge on active shooter drills (and that goading the shooter to kill someone else constitutes a failing grade)? I also dislike the concept of being locked in a room. I am a complete chicken- I once got dragged to a haunted house and I had a panic attack and they had to turn the lights on and call EMS. Are you getting a lot of spam which is very annoying and want to avoid them? The storeroom was in the basement, where the ceiling was low enough for me to reach without standing on tiptoe. i would also call in sick to this. However, life happens and there may be times when you cannot attend. Updated: Monday, March 20, 2017. I didnt end up having to attend the training, but I was never able to respect my grandboss in the same way after that. And at least a third of us are on the introverted side. Ah, I bet you live in the same city as me. This training is insufficient for that goal but its not worthless. How horrible. If they wouldnt let you out of a fire drill, theyd be unlikely to let you out of this, and I dont know how things would shake out with saying you need to skip important safety drills as a reasonable accommodation. Often, the employees are the main reason why employees quiet quit their job. Heck no. Its similar to gallows humor. Regardless, if you want to tell your boss you dont want to work on the weekends, you should be honest and genuine, oftentimes your boss will not force you to come to work as it will be bad for the teams morale and productivity. Regardless, it may be worth a try anyway. See also so many links and comments above on why these do not work. You are going to cause someone mental anguish for little if any payoff in this situation. I work in a clinic that serves LGBTQ+ patients and I live in a state that is very second amendment and extremely not LGBTQ+ friendly. No?). And I absolutely think you should do the same. I literally had a panic attack and left. This happened in effing Silicon Valley with the VTA shooting just 2 years ago. Because they want to LARP like something out of a movie. https://bit.ly/3SDoQpc. 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